It is approximately 7:20 p.m. on a Tuesday night in March. I'm in my bed surrounded by a pool of clothes, some clean and some dirty , watching a Netflix documentary about Irish mobsters while I put off writing out a brand new budget to blog since the last time I used this website was in late July apparently.
Today I went to Cleveland Furniture Bank to attempt to find a cabinet I could repurpose into a cool little liquor cabinet that I want to eventually have in my room next to a mini fridge that would all be below my television hung from the wall. I went grocery shopping so I could make chicken parmesan for dinner because I had pasta I needed to use but ended up spending more money on the other ingredients than I would've lost if I had just gotten rid of the pasta, but it was delicious and I need to practice my way through cooking instead of paying someone else to do it for me every night. What do all of these singularities have in common though? They were all decisions or lack of decision making that I took part in. I could've washed the dirty clothes and folded the clean ones. I could have chosen a different show, dinner or vision for my room that could put a part of my life on a different track. Each and every outcome in our lives are powered by decision making and I have learned the value of that so much that I felt compelled to blog about it this week. I moved out recently and have made numerous important life decisions but there is a big one that I made a few hours ago that I would like to talk (type?) about in depth through this. I quit my job today. I quit my job, AFTER I was offered a 30% raise. I quit my job and it wasn't until after I made that decision and the corresponding response that I got from my boss that I felt affirmed in what I was doing. More on that in a minute. Back in January I took a test to get certified for the position I was hired to do, and with that certification I would no longer be in training and would receive a raise with it. I passed the test, but after a couple of paychecks the raise wasn't coming through. Eventually, after a back and forth, a couple of broken promises and just some general confusion I decided it was time to go. I took a week of vacation to use the rest of my PTO and when I came back I was going to give them my notice. Management noticed this and became a little more urgent in getting the situation with my raise taken care of but by that point the damage had been done in my head and I was mostly checked out. I told them I'd take the weekend to think about it and get back to them. Over the course of that weekend, I considered everything that would benefit from staying, and what I could gain from leaving. I had jobs set up that would give me a little more flexibility in life at a similar pay rate that I was already getting, but the raise was enticing, especially since it was more than I originally was supposed to get from my certification. They wanted to keep me, I was valued to them. But this wasn't what I wanted to do. I wasn't put on this earth to be a UT Inspector in a factory for the rest of my days. I have a writing degree. I'm passionate about philanthropy and helping others, not looking a slab of steel for 8 hours a day. I have the rest of my life to settle for a job I don't care about, but my window to start to make my imprint on others through what I love to do is so small already, and the more time I spend not doing what I love the smaller that window is going to get until all I'm looking at is a brick wall with no way out. So I met with my bosses this afternoon and told them all of this. I told them originally I was so upset I wanted to leave in anger, but the more I thought about it the more I needed to go out on my own and pursue my passion. They couldn't believe it. They couldn't believe it, not because they were upset or because I was leaving them but because I had the guts to call a meeting and tell them I am going to go out and I am going to bet on myself to try and make a name the way I wanted to. After that presentation, they basically pushed me out the door. They became two of my biggest cheerleaders because they saw something in me that to many people are afraid to do. I gave up financial stability. I gave up benefits, and PTO, and medical insurance, and other benefits to try a chase down lofty goals and ideas and passions I have for my life. I am terrified, but I made that decision for myself because I have the rest of my life to make decisions that aren't for me. I decided for me, and it has been so liberating. If you haven't already try it some time. If you're unsure, I will always listen and do my best to help you through it. As always, Social Media: @TheToneStallone Give me a follow and see if I'm living out of a box or going on a New York times bestselling list any time soon.
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